Tweets - Notes to Self

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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The Tao of Now @InTheNoosphere

the weather service in Puerto Vallarta just put out an emergency winter weather warning :

overnight temperatures are expected to dip below 60 degrees

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Catstrey @CatstreyDave

To kill a French Vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart. Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Sam Sykes @SamSykesSwears

“I want to devour people. I’m tired of being told I can’t be a cannibal. Let me in your house so I can devour you.”
no
“CENSORED ONCE AGAIN BY THE OUTRAGE MOB I CANT BELIEVE WHAT THIS WORLD IS COMING TO”

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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George Takei @GeorgeTakei

A good way to help the climate crisis is to reduce your personal consumption of Meatloaf.

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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⚜️French Benefits⚜️ @10kbabyspiders

*rubs Doritos on both of my wrists and behind each ear*

*opens Twitter*

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Programming Wisdom @CodeWisdom

“Be curious. Read widely. Try new things. I think a lot of what people call intelligence boils down to curiosity.” - Aaron Swartz

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Bart @bartandsoul

Got a steroid shot at the dr and then I drank two Red Bull’s and now I can eat barbed wire

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Bart @bartandsoul

You wanna know what isn’t appreciated at a PTA meeting?

Yodeling

Apparently

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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ProfHelen @Helenhs

Don’t eat or handle bats.

I need to feel useful! 😂

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Freudianscripts @freudianscript

My absence has never made anyone's heart grow fonder.

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Kellemora
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Mine either!

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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the light of ancient mistakes @mephisto_kur

Lives in an 80s sitcom. Sees a fire. Throws a random bucket of super flammable liquid (that just happens to be sitting there) at it.

Audience laughs as the set burns down, then the studio, then the lot, then the city.

Audience continues to laugh as they burst into flames.

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Kiss my Fat Ash @Tobi_Is_Fab
18 Sep 2019
Ask for spotted dick in Britain and you get pudding with suet and fruit.

Ask for spotted dick in the US and you get herpes.

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Pat Malach @Pat_Malach

Replying to @xeni
So far we've got locusts in Africa and a plague in China, if it starts raining frogs somewhere I'm out

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Amish PornStar™ @AmishPornStar1

If ignorance is bliss...

There should be a lot more happy people out there.

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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now what @jaimiealley

you can put pizza stuff in a quesadilla, embrace the lawlessness

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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SwiftOnSecurity @SwiftOnSecurity

“What, you’ve kept Windows broken this whole time? You could have fixed it automatically?”

Microsoft: “What fun would that be?”

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Philip Arnold @PJA64X

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. — H. L. Mencken

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Jödingers 🐱 Cat @JodingersCat

Who called them nuns and not creatures of habit?

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yogi
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Re: Tweets - Notes to Self

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Matt May @mattmay
Levels of friendship for #ADHD people

1. you are okay
2. we are friends
3. you're my best friend
4. I would walk into a burning building to rescue you
5. I will read a book that you recommend

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