re: living longer...

[pilvikki]

so many couples that appear to be totally unsuited, bicker and swipe at each other constantly, yet profess to never have been happier! one couple i'm thinking of in particular...

"i didn't think this kind of love was even possible..." she says, "i'd not know what to do without him."

well, she found out, for he suddenly died and now she keeps saying her biggest wish is not to wake up in the morning. yet, when she found out she had cancer, she duly had the operation and to her dismay lives unhappily on. he was her whole life, so she has no hobbies but fishing (which she is not able to do unless someone takes her there), no friends, interests, no driver's licence. only travelling, (as long as someone drives her to and from airports.) not even her grandkids can spark any enthusiasm; she actually avoids them for being noisy and demanding - as most toddlers tend to be....

the bitterness is palpable, she's about as warm as dry ice. and to see one transformed from a beautiful, vivacious, lively and funny woman to this caricature of herself is just shocking.

the love of her life? i found him to be an unpleasant little man, all suave manners and generosity on the surface, but a nasty, envious, and creepy bottom layer. while he did dote on her, he also took her down into a deep well of alcoholism where she will live the rest of her miserable life.

so baffling...

[yogi]

There has been a shocking change to society (and ethics) in my lifetime. It caught me by surprise not so many years ago. It's the rising acceptance of what is called the Rape Culture. The bottom line is that men have a right to abuse women, which is not such a new idea. The change to which I refer is that more and more females not just accept this abuse but desire it. I've grown to accept the basic tenants of Freud's Pleasure Principle, albeit an archaic theory. People do what gives them pleasure after all, and in some cases the comfort comes from pain. The notion that compatibility is what makes marriages survive is true for only half the population. The rest thrive on differences in order to make things interesting. Before my epiphany I knew pleasure from pain existed but always considered it an aberration of the norm. Well, so I found out, the norm has shifted.

[pilvikki]

well, they were evenly matched in that she could give back in like currency. there was no physical abuse and the verbal was a two-way street that just seemed their weird way of communicating. the nastiness came to light when other people were referred to - or spied upon, just for kicks.