December/End of the year

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ConorRoyston
Posts: 7
Joined: 27 Sep 2017, 11:50

December/End of the year

Post by ConorRoyston » 17 Dec 2017, 12:48

Hey there all.

Just thought I'd do a post on how me/family have been over the last few months since the funeral. Unfortunately it's not all good and I just need somewhere to type all this.

So since the start of November. Over the weeks we sorted out (me, my dad and brother) the house and what benefits we know of.

This was the start of the problem. Because obviously my mum and dad were claiming as a couple before so this instantly had a knock back effect on income.

To my knowledge my dad gets carers allowance for my brother who's autistic and a little bit of housing benefit but as far as I know.. nothing else.
My dad has a meeting with someone (8th January) to discuss other benefits but I don't know what the outcome will be....

Most of the housing benefit comes out of the rent straight away.
Our rent is around £96 a week ( as we've lived there for 21 years and technically my dad is classed as unemployed regardless of being a carer ).
Housing benefit takes out about £34 a week which leaves £62 a week left to pay, this is before bills, water, food and anything else.
This is where the first few problems come in..to my knowledge council tax and rent stopped being paid the last month my mum was in hospital.. so it got back dated a few days ago. I think it's around £500 for council tax so far and I'd suggest around the same if not more for rent aswell.. we're around £1000 in debt. I think my dad is just waiting for them to finally send a letter going " we own money ".
The very small bit my brother gets also from working (5 hours a week in a retail food shop) is like £30 a week.

So that leaves me, who is on around maybe £900 at a push after tax and minusing off other bills on a good month.
Seems from this week after I get paid.. I'll be paying for literally a house at the age of 23(24 in January) with not really a good standing for my future.

Work is also coming down hard, I also work in Retail. I'm a team leader (who's doing the job of a deputy manager) in a food retail store - the coop.
Because of the massive mess up of deliveries recently we've had so much more stock than we should have, with obviously more hour cuts so we've had less people to help aswell. It's really gone through me and people at work actually banded together to raise £150 I think it was to help over christmas which was absolutely wonderful.
In January there's a dep manager assessment which I should be practising for but it's so hard to stay focus'd on the fact that we're on the edge of losing our house if I don't pay.

To put it even worse for me, me and my long term partner of nearly 3 years split up on Friday.

So this is what life has been for me the last few months and unfortunately in the near future doesn't seem much better either.
I know it's not a happy post but I feel I need to just get something out there because of how down and low I've been feeling recently.

You're more than happy to ask me any questions if anyone has any thoughts or ways we could try to improve? haha.

On another note, I hope the rest of you have a Merry Christmas and a good New Year. :)!

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Kellemora
Posts: 1779
Joined: 16 Feb 2015, 11:54

Re: December/End of the year

Post by Kellemora » 17 Dec 2017, 14:02

Sorry to hear of your woes Connor!

As the saying goes, been there, done that, more times than I care to remember.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not an oncoming train!

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yogi
Posts: 4132
Joined: 14 Feb 2015, 15:49

Re: December/End of the year

Post by yogi » 17 Dec 2017, 16:52

Thank you for sharing your experiences Connor. It does in fact help to talk/write about what troubles you because it forces you to organize the facts so that others will understand the situation. Doing that, of course, will help you see things a little more clearly as well. Posting in a public forum such as this one would normally encourage advice from many different perspectives, but the sad truth is that we do not get as many views as we did in our heyday and thus the diversity of comments might be lacking. In any event you are most welcome to share your thoughts here or privately (e-mail or Private Messaging). We'll do our best to offer some insights.

I'd have to agree that the age of 23 (nearly 24) is way too young to be confronted with the responsibilities and challenges you must be facing at the moment. However, from what I've been told and what I've read from you personally I see that you are mature and wise enough to work your way though complex and difficult situations. I'm not very knowledgeable of British law and entitlements, but your mom as well as other Brits have alluded to potential benefits available to people in your situation. There are adjustments that can be made to council taxes, and rent, as well as benefits that can be had for those in need. Given the fact that your brother must deal with autism and that your dad is his caregiver, I'd suggest a talk with social services as a beginning point. They might know of ways to help you in your specific situation. I'm also under the impression that nobody goes homeless, particularly when they are unemployed or responsible for the well being of a family member. A frank discussion with the Housing Council could reveal the availability of financial or other relief therefrom.

The best advice I can offer is to not feel embarrassed or otherwise inhibited from seeking out help. It might be a counter intuitive notion, but you seem to be truly in need of some assistance. This is not a good time for your significant other to be walking out on you, but I'd guess you put your family's welfare ahead of all that. As the saying goes, "Take it one step at a time." Set your priorities and work on them one by one. Your mom thought the world of you and your abilities. She was a person of high standards and she did not raise a family that gives up easily. I know you can sort this all out, and that you will. If you give it your best effort, there cannot be any regrets.

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pilvikki
Posts: 4374
Joined: 16 Feb 2015, 15:35

Re: December/End of the year

Post by pilvikki » 19 Dec 2017, 12:34

oh bugger, this bites! considering how much help your mum was for me, i really wish i could return the favour, but i'm stumped here... and, she's the one i always asked when i was clueless.

all i can think of is perhaps look through her writing and see if you could perhaps sell some stories to a magazine? i mean, she really was an awesome story teller!

being the eldest, you've picked up responsibilities that really belong to your dad! he's the one who's supposed to sort this all out. and he should have had it sorted out months ago. but, yeah, i know... my mother leaned on me pretty hard when things got sticky at home. and it wasn't like i could have done anything but nod. and nod...

the break up with your g/f, too. :realsad:

never rains, it pours.

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yogi
Posts: 4132
Joined: 14 Feb 2015, 15:49

Re: December/End of the year

Post by yogi » 19 Dec 2017, 13:02

BEAR? Did someone say bear?


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ConorRoyston
Posts: 7
Joined: 27 Sep 2017, 11:50

Re: December/End of the year

Post by ConorRoyston » 02 Jan 2018, 04:56

Sorry only just got round to reading this.
I just want to say a big thank you for the wonderful comments.
It's now 2018 (Happy New Year all) So hopefully things will be a little bit better this year.

Any major updates I'll post onwards :3 <3 Thank youu!

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