OMG...

[brandtrn]

WHAT is it with some people??? I'm completely pee'd off because one of my former co-workers has decided, for her own reasons, to eff with my brother! GRRRRRRR!!! Trust me, people, you DON'T want to mess with someone I love!

I think I've bitched about this person in previous posts...when I worked with her, I was ASTOUNDED at the "basics" that she DIDN'T know, and was even MORE astounded when one night, she called a physician with messed-up results from an i-Stat lab, mentioning a critical potassium level and an even MORE critical blood glucose reading which was NOT double-checked!! WTF??? When one GETS such messed up results, does it not make sense to REPEAT the freaking test??? Nevermind...this woman, nice though she was, was INCREDIBLY incompetent when it came to patient care, and was eventually fired from the hospital in which I work. Now, she's working for our local Hospice organization. One COULD say that, since those folks are dying anyway, there's not too much harm that she could do, but still, I'd seriously be worrying about ANYBODY under her care!

In any case, way back in the day when we were still working together, she "friended" me on Facebook. No big deal, that...the majority of my co-workers have "friended" me, and I'm careful NOT to post any "work rants" there. Still, not only did this freaking stalker bitch "friend" me, but she apparently looked into my profile, family members, etc., and decided to send my brother a message, asking him to meet with her. Again, WTF? Still, my brother agreed to meet with her once (hey, he's a bachelor and unattached, but he STILL should have talked with me before meeting her, because she is one seriously messed-up individual!). Anyway, he met with her and soon realized that the woman has far too much "drama" in her life for his liking, so he distanced himself from her quickly.

Imagine the fun I had tonight when my brother messaged me in a panic, telling me that said former co-worker had sent him a Facebook message, threatening to kill herself! My poor brother has had too much of this crap that he's been dealing with throughout his entire adult life! Way back in the day, my mother asked him to loan her one of his guns, since my Dad worked the night shift and she was alone at night. I remember my brother asking her at the time: "yes, Dad is away from the house at night, but you've got two big Dobermans in the house, so what's the problem?" My Mom said to him, "yes, I have the dogs, but who's going to protect THEM in the worst-case scenario?" My brother found her question to be reasonable, and so he loaned her his .38 handgun...not knowing that, less than one month later, Mom would use that very gun to shoot herself in the head! My poor brother has dealt with guilt from this episode for YEARS, no matter what I or my sister could say to assure him that it WASN'T his fault! And then, what happens, but that this goofy bitch decides, for whatever reason, to unload upon him, threaten suicide, etc.? NOT COOL!!

I messaged this bitch right after after I got my brother's message, telling her that I was calling 911 immediately (since I knew where she lived, since I'd often had to pick her up and take her to work previously), and then did so. Screw her! Since she worked with me for many months and we became reasonably close during those months, she KNEW a good bit about my family history, including the crap that my poor brother has been living with, all these years! Shame on her for shoving her drama (and her suicide threats) down my brother's throat, while KNOWING what he's been through! If the silly bitch IS, in fact suicidal (although I doubt it, knowing what a "drama queen" she is), hopefully, they'll be able to deal with her...but, goddamn it, it's NOT "cool" to even THINK about making such a threat to someone who one KNOWS has dealt with some of the worst s**t that life has to offer!

[yogi]

I've had some close encounters with genuinely suicidal people and I'm here to emphasize something you must already know. It's not drama. It's terror of the worst kind.

Then there is Facebook, my all time favorite rant. I am flabbergasted by it's popularity simply because of the kind of thing that you describe here. Being social is being human and doing it in a digital environment is so 2015. I understand the attraction of being virtually in contact with your offspring, friends, and other relatives, not to mention the allure of everything Zynga has to offer. It's entertaining and bonding, but at what price? Yes there is a price. Participating in Facebook's circus is paid for by all the personal information that you give to Facebook. Every single word, picture, and "like" you make on that website is given to them and their partners to do with as they see fit. They see fit to sell Big Data to hungry advertisers and any government official with a warrant. While being used as a commodity by Facebook is my biggest gripe, it is nothing compared to what total strangers can find out without your explicit permission. Did you know I am getting suggestions to befriend everyone on YOUR friends list simply because you and I are buddies over there? Well, I could find out who your imaginary friends are anyway, but the fact that Facebook passes that information around freely is a bit spooky. You can't complain too much about your ex-coworker's stalking because a lot of what she found in your Facebook profile was already provided by your association with her. But, unless you explicitly exclude personal information from being broadcast (which is not easy to do), Facebook has a right to do whatever they want with it. Apparently all your pretend friends there have the same right.

[pilvikki]

ye gods, cindy! you sure find some characters!

being of the cynical persuasion, i'm inclined to think that dingbat knew exactly what she was doing and should have to made apologize to bro.

what a cow!

[Icey]

I don't agree.

I'm absolutely sure that Cindy's right about this woman being a drama queen. I assume this person's still around, and was therefore trying to gain some attention, BUT....

When someone gets genuinely so depressed that they can't see any other option but to take their own lives, all reasoning can go out of the window. Some advertise what they're going to do, others just get on with it, as a second cousin of mine did, a few years back. It was a terrible shock, and he left no note or anything.

Maybe this woman, knowing what your brother went through, and still does, saw it as that he'd understand her feelings, and never gave a thought to how all this'd affect him and the family (again). On the face of it, she sounds desperate, whether her intentions were real or just because she thought it'd make him get in touch with her again. She sounds very needy - the sort who draws attention to herself by whatever method it takes, but also shows that she's in need of some kind of help.

Your brother's better off ignoring her and her threats completely. If she DID carry out her intentions, then it wouldn't be his fault. The woman obviously had issues before she even met him, and you were right to call the police, just in case.

[brandtrn]

Obviously, the woman did NOT carry out her threat. And hey, thanks to me, she had a bit of inconvenience -- the goofy wench had COPS at her door in the wee hours of the morning...too bad she didn't have the weapon of choice which she intended to off herself with close at hand. Fearing for their "safety," the cops would have expedited the job, as they've done to multiple folks threatening suicide in this country over the past year. In any case, I think she's been cured from messaging my brother at any point in the reasonably near future.

[Icey]

Good news! We can all do without people like that, but just the fact that this woman'd threatened to end it shows that she needs treatment of some sort. If she REALLY has depression that makes her so down, then she needs to get it sorted out. Depression which gets to that stage isn't funny. It's a serious illness, which some manage to hide successfully, but others aren't capable of tackling on their own.

If the threat was just for attention, or to try and get your brother to get in contact with her, it's still a mental issue, but somewhat sad, rather than being more serious. The thing is, it's also worrying for those who're contacted, which definitely isn't fair. I was very sorry to hear about your mum, and the last thing your brother wants is to be faced with a possible similar tragedy. You were right to call someone, whatever the time of day, but unless this person volunteers to be helped, I think she's best avoided.

[pilvikki]

good news, cindy.

your mother and my father. I bet neither had any idea how badly it affected their kids.

as for the crazies, got one of those just down the street...

the difference here is that none of the people in charge of her mental health issues seem to give a flying duck about whether she lives or dies. appalling.

[Icey]

Oh no. Not your father as well Vikki?

How awful for you ladies, and anyone else who has someone close to them committing suicide.

Luckily, most "threateners" never actually go through with it, but just thinking about it shows that they have mental issues. When one feels that all hope's lost, it can seem like the only way out. Those who sink too low go ahead and do it, and the rest live in misery when their depression takes hold.

Our mental health facilities aren't as good as they might be over here. A recent article said that many really young children need immediate support, as they too, have designs on self-harm or ending it all. This's really worrying. They often come from appalling environments/backgrounds and lack any parental love and support, but not always. People from good homes also contemplate suicide, or go through with it. The pressures of life don't seem to help, and kids sometimes aren't aware of how hormonal changes can affect their thinking. I think it's up to us all to try and understand the isolation and emotional issues which depression can cause, and if we can't do anything about it ourselves, then we need to make the authorities aware, at least. Cindy did that, and I think she was right, but I doubt it'll curb this woman's threats if another situation arises where she can use emotional blackmail. As I say, if she really had it in her heart to kill herself, she either needs counselling and/or medication, but not all agencies who deal with this sort of thing can provide the right sort of treatment and help.

Those who mean to do it - do it, but you can never take a threat too lightly.

[brandtrn]

Update on this: the bitch in question messaged my brother a few days following that suicide threat, acting as if nothing had ever happened. Just a post of, "hey, how are you doing and what's going on?" sort of thing. She made no mention of the previous messages she had sent him, and offered no apology whatsoever for having scared him out of his freaking wits! My brother unloaded on her and told her, in no uncertain terms, that he was unfriending and BLOCKING her just as soon as he could get his message out to her and know that she'd had a reasonable amount of time in which to read it. Basically told her that he has his OWN issues and doesn't need her or anybody else adding to them, and ended it by imploring her to seek professional help, but that, in any case, he wasn't going to be her "go-to" guy the next time she had "issues." While I agree that she DOES need help, the help that she needs is not the sort of help that my brother (who is an engineer, NOT a health professional!) is trained to deliver. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say!

[Icey]

I think he's done the right thing. The woman sounds a tad unbalanced, but a needy person often gives a cry for attention. Too bad it was directed towards your brother.