Sad day...

[brandtrn]

It's been one helluva week! Started back to work on Tuesday night after having been off for 20 days (we were on vacation), and the return back to work just gets worse the older I get. Once we got home, I only had one day in which to try to re-adjust my circadian rhythms. After having been up during the day for the better part of three weeks, I had to once again resume my "vampire" schedule. Tuesday night was my first of three twelve-hour shifts in a row, and I just got home from my last shift (which ended up lasting nearly fifteen hours!) barely an hour ago. It's bad enough that my bad ankle and bad knee kept me from doing all the walking I wanted to do during my vacation, but pounding the floor for AT LEAST twelve solid hours for three nights in a row has generated an amount of joint pain that's put me way past my *usual* pain threshold! Naproxen hasn't done a damn thing to even take the edge off my pain, and I'm looking with great longing at my little bottle of prescription pain pills, debating the pros and the cons of indulging in just *one* of those little pills. The relief from the pain would be substantial but at a real price, because with my poor tolerance for narcotics, I'd end up nauseated *and* sleepy as hell at the same time. I'm ALREADY sleepy as hell, anyway, after working three shifts in a row, but taking that one little pill would probably put me completely out of commission until sometime tomorrow evening! Maybe I could try splitting one of them and taking only half the pill? Decisions, decisions!

I left work this morning, only to have my cell phone immediately start blowing up with both of my daughters calling me at once, VERY upset and tearful about some really sad news. My ex's fourth wife (and their stepmother) passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly last night. The news actually made ME sad, too, because I've always liked Marian! Marian was never one of those bitches who are insanely jealous of their partners' exes...she was mature enough to understand that exes are exes for a *reason,* and confident enough in her own relationship with Don that she never viewed me as a threat, but rather welcomed me into her life as an ally and family member. She played a very instrumental part in bringing my children's family back together as much as possible. Before Don married Marian, he and I were superficially friendly for the childrens' sakes, but always did our parenting separately. Marian was always wanting the *entire* family to celebrate holidays and special occasions together. Because of her interventions, we celebrated Megan's college graduation, Melanie's baby shower, my grandson's first Christmas, his first birthday and a host of other special days as one big family, rather than as two separate, competing families. Prior to Marian's arrival in the family, since my ex demanded our girls' presence on ALL holidays and *special* days (and I'm not usually one who likes conflicts), I'd normally back away and let HIM have those days, scheduling my own celebrations for an alternate date and time. Marian showed him that it IS possible to share, and I'll be forever grateful to her for that. Over the years, we eventually became real friends; and even though I've *never* been the "touchy-feely" kind of person that she was, I learned not only to tolerate her enthusiastic hugs whenever we'd meet, but to actually be able to return them with pleasure. I'm sorry that she's no longer in this world, but so happy that she appeared to have died in her sleep with no tangible evidence of suffering or distress. Don simply woke up next to her this morning and saw that she had passed...and isn't that the way that we'd ALL like to go when our time finally comes???

So one more kind, decent person in the world is no longer with us. What is it that Billy Joel said -- only the good die young? She WAS truly a good person and totally too young to have died. She was a few years younger than I am -- not quite fifty, if I'm not mistaken! I'm sad, not only that I've lost a friend, but that Don has lost his wife, and my girls have lost a stepmother whom they really loved. The only *good* thing to have come out of any of this is that Megan is coming home for the first time since she left for Alaska a year and a half ago (she's flying in tonight), and Melanie is also driving home to be with her Dad during this difficult time. Even in death, Marian is bringing the family back together one last time. RIP, sweet lady...

[yogi]

Sometimes I have to wonder what life is all about and if it's actually worth all the effort. Now that I've been around more decades than I want to count, the meaningful parts of the struggle are becoming apparent. Living a good clean life is important to everyone around you, but the real impact of one's being seems to be realized after they are gone. Their legacy lives on. Obviously Marian has touched all of your family and has made a difference in your lives. She is leaving behind one hella legacy, and I admire a person who can do that.

[brandtrn]

She was, indeed, an admirable person, Dennis. She will be missed by many. If the entire world only followed her loving example, it *would* be a much better place. Her example is one that I admire and which I've tried to follow myself throughout my adult life...to make a "difference," even if only to one person at a time. I think we all have our ways of being able to do so, if only we make that effort...

[tomsk]

I agree on that sentiment ,
She sounds wonderful bless her.
gee..

[Icey]

Sorry to hear about the family loss, and I agree with what you've said. Being helpful and kind to others isn't so hard to do, but it can make all the difference to how it makes you feel in yourself, and how those around you view - and remember - you.

You work very hard Cindy. I hope you enjoyed your well-deserved holiday.